Goodbye Labuan....

When I woke up today morning ….it feels like I m going to lost everything from Labuan. Whatever happen during whole trip in my personal life was too bad.
When I left hotel look like I miss something to take, something big. Not at all mood to left Labuan, but have to….. no choice.
When we reach Labuan airport, I tried to call her but no answer from other side. Just want to inform her about gift. In whole journey from Labuan to KL to S’pore I was thinking about her. Finally from S’pore airport I mail her about gift. Good thing is she reply for it. Nice…..
By the way first time in S’pore…….. wow its nice city. Clean, beautiful, developed, silent and expensive city. Looking forward to spend some days here…. I have to go back India. I m here and all my family member and relative busy there in arrangement there.

Last day in Labuan.....

Sunday…. Last day in labuan. I already SMS her that I m going back 2mrow. But she didn’t reply. I no she is angry on me. I think I deserve this situation. When I come to no she not love me why I m still like her?? Why I always think about her??
But what I can do. My heart is not in my control.
Dil hai ki manata nahi.....
We meet Melvin, jon today. May be last time or may be we meet again. I don’t know. This world is too small and too big as well. Who meet whom and when?, how? Nobody know. So goodbye Labuan…… may be not come here again or if in fortune will be back here to visit beautiful place and beautiful people…….hopefully Jumpa lagi.

last working day.....

Today I buy one small gift for her first time. Actually not get enough time for buying. But i manage during lunch time. When I come to know that we r not going to meet again I kept the gift at her desk. I hope she find that before anyone go there. I have her cell no. so I’ll going to call her 2mrow.
Today last day in workshop bcz Our schedule is change and we r flying this Monday. Like last time again we miss some guys to meet. Like Calarence, Albert, uncle Freddie, etc. I m going to miss all of them. Rite now I m in very unstable situation. I don’t understand what to do??

27th March

Bad news, just got news that we r flying on Monday. Fcuk….
today Friday 2mrow she may be not coming. Sunday also, mati lah. Now, how I should tell her?? Everything going wrong. I think I cant clear doubt from her mind. I don’t think so, can I meet her again??….why all this things happen with me?? Why??
Melvin also in KK and jon also. They both promise me that they r coming to meet us 2mrow. Last two days in Labuan. Btwn I decide to buy one gift for her. Don’t have time to decide….. I want to buy just small gift. May be 2mrow. But how I can give her. Next 2 days holiday. Monday morning our flight time. How?? I m just blank rite now.

i can't

Today Friday last day before weekend. May be our last weekend in Labuan. Today also I tried but the same result. I don’t know what will happen. I think I m not going to tell her anything if the situation like this. And she will not come to no true. May be we r flying to S’pore this week. Then its difficult. Have some mood to celebrate last weekend in Labuan with melv, jon and frnd.

26th march

Today again I try but I can’t. mati lah…. I have to tell her what the actual situation is. Otherwise she thinking something and if I not explain then she always thing I m guilty. Therefore need to tell all the things. Common lucky u can…. And u have to.
Between that just got news that may be we need to fly to Singapore next week. I don’t know what the plan. I already told them my sisters wedding on 19th april. Our return ticket on 5th april. Now they told us to go S’pore. I don’t know how long?? I will fly to india in any how for wedding. Bcz of me already postpone the function from last Nov. to this April. How I should tell them I’ll not be there. I cant.i have to be there….and I will be there.

25th march

Today I tried to go there and talk with her but I don’t know why I cant?? I start walking and take u-turn from middle way. I don’t know what to tell and how to tell. What’s her reaction? I tried 4-5 times but I cant go there. I’ll try 2mrow.

Feel Relax.......but..

Everything goes wrong here……today I told her what I felt about her. Its official announcement from me. Gila lah. I told her everything what I felt about her. She know this, she told Amar not to tell this to me. But he told me and she don’t know that. Last few days nothing going alright as she come to no everything and I come to know that she come to know everything. Both know everything but behave like nobody know nothing. I ask something she take it in other way and try to told me in other way. I m also tired to behave like this. Like doing acting In any film. Therefore I told her everything, I don’t care she will talk with me from now or not?? Its upto her. I told her from now we r just frnd she also agree. But….. somewhere I think she will not talk with me. But feel very relax after that. This thing also I told her while chatting not face to face. I cant talk these things face to face. I m going to tell her all the things soon, not with help of messngr, face to face......i hope.

why?????

Finally that happen what I don’t want. She come to know everything…. Fcuk. Why??
Amar told her everything about me, my feeling for her, everything. First when I heard I m a bit happy…. At least she come to know, but at second moment I become very nervous that why Amar told her?? Without ask me anything he told her everything. I think She also surprised or may be she know this things but not confirmed. Today her doubt confirm. Shhhittt.
She might thinking that ‘I always chat with him like friend but he is having another aim’. But not like that I never chat with her with any other motive. I also behave with her like frnd. Now, this situation might come that she stop talking with me. I m not sure, bzc she is good human being she can understand my feeling, I hope. She also like someone, love someone she can understand. I expecting we will be frnds from now and its depends on her reaction. If she don’t have problem then we will be frnd forever. But its my thinking I don’t no what is going on there??
Honestly speaking I really don’t want to tell her these things. But……………
I don’t know what next?? How I face her now? As frnd? As a boy who like her? Or ??
So many questionmarks?? I don’t thinks so I can go there and have eye contact with her…. Now feel like I m criminal. Few days remain in Labuan. Hope days goes fast and I can go from here.

is this funny????

Last few days I everyday ask her about party. But she not having time and she told me that she don’t want to come for party. When I ask why then she reply her boyfriend is here therefore she don’t want to come. Gila lah…. I ask her that not to come is ur decision or ur boyfriends decision? She told me that it her decision. Therefore I ask her if ur decision then why u don’t want to come? Its just simple party. Then when she say no, no. then I say I m not proposing u why u r saying no. she might feel bad, but what I can tell her I m just asking for come for party and she just denies my request. I think she come to no my feeling about her therefore she trying to avoid my request. How I can tell her that its just party nothing else. Hope she can understand and not feeling bad about what I say to her…..Sorry……

Kal Ho Naa Ho.......

Lyrics of Kal Ho Naa Ho.......



Har Ghadi Badal Rahi Hai Roop Zindagi
Chaav Hai Kahhi Hai Dhoop Zidnagi
Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo
Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Ghadi Badal Raha Hai Roop Zindagi
Chaav Hai Kahhi Hai Dhoop Zidnagi
Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho
Chaahe Jo Tumhe Poore Dil Se
Milta Hai Woh Mushkil Se
Aisa Jo Koi Kahin Hai
Bas Vahi Sabse Hasin Hai
Us Haath Ko Tum Thaam Lo
Woh Meherbaan Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo
Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho
Palko Ke Leke Saaye
Paas Koi Jo Aaye
Lakh Sambhalo Paagal Dil Ko
Dil Dhadke Hi Jaaye
Par Sochlo Is Pal Hai
Jo Woh Dastan Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo
Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar
Jiyo Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho

why " no......

Today she didn’t come for party.. Aastaga.. I was arrange the party on evening, she also ready for come but today she told me that she having time before 6 o’clock. After that she want to go in Church. I called her on evening but she say she don’t have time now. I say ok no worries may be next time. I cancelled the party bcz no mood to having party. Wish to have dinner with her but…… ok I’ll try again to invite her, whenever she having time. What is happening in my life I don’t know. First time I like someone, but she like someone else. Its life this kind of situation often come in life, we have to face this kind of situation.
Today one of my best frnd Sachin’s B’day, I already called him and wish him.

invitation

Today I invite her for my B’day party. Actually she was not here during my B’day so I arrange one small party for my frnds from India and for her also. Just a dinner In Mehfil a famous and original Indian taste restaurant in Labuan. I hope she will come for party, she promise me yesterday. If she come then its great party for me lah…. Haha.
As I decide yesterday, no more thinking about her bcz she love someone, and she told me that. So, I just invite her as my friend and with that reason I can have dinner with her. I accept whatever the situation now, I don’t have problem to be friend with her. She should not come to know about my feeling. I doubt on Amar, may be he is going to tell her, bcz he is like to tell this things from here to there. I don’t like that at all.
Ok boy back to work. Lots of work waiting outside…haha.

Thanks….Cayra!!

Today I come to no that the Cake order for my B’day was actually ordered by Cayra. How Sweet!! Actually I thought its ordered by Calarence, Albert or Melv but today she told me she ordered that Cake. Thanks a lot Cayra for a beautiful and surprising B’day cake. Not expecting.. really. I m not going to forgot this in my life..
When she told me about this, first i surprised then just say her thanks.
A special cake, to special person, from a special person, at a special day for a special reason……haha everything is special for me rite now. Specially a young girl order cake for me is something special……haha.
Money is not IMP but the the way I celebrate my B’day was just amazing….and its bcz of Cayra and these all Labuan guys.
I know her B’day on 7th Nov. hmm.. I may not be here that time. Well I trying my best to celebrate her birthday…..lets see what happen. I wish I’ll be here.
Last time when I was In Labuan, that time I actually know her B’day but that time not wish her bcz that time we just new in Labuan and for everyone.
Actually it is something great to do something for others. Some people having This kind of quality, I greatly appreciate this, And God Bless u Always…..

Truth.......i have to accept.

Hmm....finally i come to no about her life, her boyfriend. Haha.. My gues was right, the name in my mind is correct. Don't mind 'Lucky'..better lucky next time..haha.
Its not shocking actually, bcz she told me before that she have bf. When i was in India i came to no about it. So, this is just conformation. Haha.. Last few days when i ask her about him, about his name she just told me guess. She give me some hints and told me to guess, and i think i guess right. She told me one thing that if i m her frnd then i can guess. So, i can say i m ur frnd and want to be ur frnd only nothing more.. I m never going to tell u about my feeling. This is my decesion. For me Love means not achieve or get my love, i like to see my love happy its may be with me or maynot be with me.. Its not compulsary that if u love someone, like someone then she also like u, love u.. She also have her own choice, own decision. And i respect that. But she will be forever in my heart..and nobody restrict me to do that..she also.
Ok about her choice.. I like to say, he is really suit for her. Good choice!! I knw him, not closely but as a professional he is really mindblowing.. The way he present himself or the talent he have to speak in front of people is amazing.
Its my negative point that i cant communicate well. In prof. life i like to be like him a good presenter.. Then atleast i can speak with ppl about myself more..hopefully..

commitment.....

commitment- realy commited word. haha
last few days we r discussing on commitment. i ask her abt her BF. she told me she having BF, they both love eachother (Aastaga)but he is not ready for commitment.... i think HE is silly guy who not ready for commitment. how he can't ready for responsibility?? if u love someone then u have to take responsibility.... othervise dont go through that way.... simple.
I dont no who is he but he is Mad guy who not commited a girl like her..... haha
if i m in place of him then i'll be ready for commitement forever....haha
but unfortunately i m not that guy..... unlucky bah.
few days back she ask me one interesting Question that, "What u Think about me??
for a while i goes in silent mode...haha. bcz what i can say what i think about u??
i have a paragraph of what i think about her but i didn't say anything. i just say u r cantik and very frndly. thats it.
bcz i no she ask me as frnd. i control my feelings. i dont no why she ask this QUESTION?? whats going on her mind only she knows.
i think i should told abt my feeling that day in funny mood, at least she come to no abt it. but it better i didn't tell her. haha

Unexpected.. B'day celebration.

Unexpected..really unexpected. As everybody know about my birthday. I expecting some announcement and wishes from all, not more..
yesterday Gie come with Melv. Its also surprise for me bcz 2nd time i meet her after annual dinner last year. But look like we know eachother from long time bcz we chat regularly, meet on frndster.
My mind is not ready to go 4 party but......
I have go bcz spl request from spl person and its not good if i not there bcz everybody know my b'day... We reach there, party start, everybody drinking, eating, enjoying....
We also enjoing our drink..haha.. but my mind not stable..thinking something..
missing my Family, Frndz, India and someone special....haha.
Everybody enjoying party and suddenly i heard birthday song, i look around hall, everybody looking at me and clapping. Its for me.. Then i saw one Birthday cake come towords me, i really surprised!! Then in front of all people i cut the cake.. Afterthat everybody wish me. After long period of time my B'day celebrate like this.. Last few years i not celebrate it. And like this celebration never.. Sometime really feel "Lucky" to have luck like this. Lucky to have frnds from Labuan. Wat i can say about this people.. Really nice people,friendly, helpful. Lucky enough to meet them in my life, and thanksful to all of them for make my B'day a memorable and unforgetable.. TERIMA KASIH..
After that we gone to pub SP in Grand Dorsett, enjoy there.. Surprisingly there also my b'day announcement and one special drink for me order by big boss Calerence. I m bit emotional thinking about the way my b'day celebrate.. amazing.

Happy Birthday "LUCKY".......

Its 7th March.. My Birthday....

6 March

Today, Sap training in office therfore nobody work in shopflor. miss a lot shopflor haha.... Not feeling well actually and the whole day in conference room which is booring for me. first half of the training is goes really very good as she is also there in training, haha.. but second half was too booring lah. After finish the training my frndz join shopflor to help other tech. Actually Melvin also expect that i m going to join him but i not join him. sorry bro..
Myself busy in chatting with her as always. today i feel very nervous and not in mood to celebrate my birthday.. then there is mail from big boss Calarence. he arrange one party for all the empoyee and the party is tomorrow means my b'day and party together. Astaga....
Melvin then reply all people with news that my b'day also 2mrow and everyone come to know about my b'day. She request me to attend the party i say ok lah i can't reject ur request bah. Funnything is she ask my frndz about my age. i dont no why?? and i dont no why she not ask me??
she told me it is going to be spl b'day celebration for me. but she will not be there.... so bad.
Mean time Melv told me that Gilian also going to come labuan 2mrow. Thats great. finally i decide to go in party. i hope its unforgottable party in my life.
By the way its 1:30 am here means already saturday start. i alredy called my home, they already wish me. my frnd also wish me. A Speacial Day is come Mr. Laxman. many Many Happy returns Of The day.. Time to sleep 2mrow working and then party celebration lah. ok bah.

5th March

i cant concentrate here. I already call my home.... my father is feeling well now. thank god.. i care about my family members.
in other way,i think i m in the air.... i dont no what happen to me?? not interested in food, work and enjoy also. each and everytime just think about her..
my frnds say i m in love.... i dont think so bcz i dont no what is love?? maybe bcz first time i feel like this. haha..
i heared before that in love u ferget about everything, u just think about ur love, u not feel hungry also, no mood to do any other things, always like to heard about her, talk about her. hahahaha..
may be my frnz saw me like this.... whenever they start talking about her i just get energies just smile smile and smile..i think i m going to krrazzyyyyy.
But Lucky u should come down on earth.... i no u r in love but i think she love someone else.. ya i no it but i just want share my feeling here nothing else.
last few days i try to ask her about him but she is not telling me his name. she just give me some clue or hints to identify who is he?? funny lah..
what a situation a girl i love is asking me to find out her choice. Aastaga Naga.. but i have one name in my mind as per her hints.."s...". i hope he is the one she talk about.
Never mind as i no whole story, but she doesn't no anything about my feeling. As she just behave with me like frnd. but sometime i thougth why she behave with me like something differently.
my frndz say that i m the only person to whom she told each and evry thing about her.. why?? i say i dont no man. i just ask her and she just told me thats its.. beyond that i dont no whats going on in her mind. i m not magician who no what going on in her mind.. but i like the way she behave with me share her personal issue also with me. and i like continue that. hope everything is alright for her and for me also.
this saturday my birthday. a special birthday for me as first time i celebrate it in out of India. no mood to celebrate it after heard that my father not feeling well there. lets see what happen...

4th March

Astaga.... after 8-10 days got time to write again. too busy mean time spl last weekend, friday work until 3:30 am then Sat. working again and Sunday rest..... and from monday again routine. Time goes very fast spl 7:30 am to 5 pm bcz....someone is there and after 5pm concentrate on work. haha.. After come back home cook then eat and sleep straigthaway. everyday like this.
Yesterday i call my home and i heard news that my Father not feeling well from last few days, and nobody informed me. its sounds so serious. Atleast they should inform me but when i ask my Sister said its not so serious. its good news that my Father is allright now.
feelgood after listerning that my father is well now, but here not good news.. as she is not in good mood as nowadays she not in her best mood. she is so nervous now a days, spl today. When w r in front of each other no one speak she also ask related work and me as always just answering.. not else. My heart say talk more with her but i always forcing myself to go from there... Krazzyy(Gelay).. but when w start Chatting she told me all the things, what happen? why she is nervous?
i m just surprised about this. when we talk in front of each other she look different whe someone is there with us then she is different and when we Chatting she is Totally different.. therfore i like to chat with her instead to talk with her as she also feel comfortable as me. and like to continue that haha....

Tum se hi- Jab we Met...

Lyrics of Tum se hi- Jab we Met...
Na Hai Yeh Pana Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane Kyun Hona Hi Hai
Tum Se Hi Din Hota Hai Surmaiye Shaam Aati
Tumse Hi Tumse Hi Har Ghadi Saans Aati Hai Zindagi Kehlati Hai Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Na Hai Yeh Pana Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane Kyun Hona Hi Hai
Aankhon Mein Ankhne Teri
Bahoon Mein Baahein Teri
Mera Na Mujhe Mein Kuch Raha Hua Kya
Baaton Mein Baatein Teri
Raatein Saugatein Teri
Kyun Tera Sab Yeh Ho Gaya Hua Kya
Mein Kahin Bhi Jata Hoon
Tumse Hi Mil Jata Hoon Tumse Hi Tumse Hi Shoor Mein Khamoshi Hai
Thodi Se Behoshi Hai Tum Se Hi Tum Se Hi
Aadha Sa Wada Kabhi
Aadhe Se Jayada Kabhi
Jee Chahe Karlu Is Trah Wafa Ka
Chode Na Chote Kabhi
Tode Na Tute Kabhi
Jo Dhaga Tumse Jud Gaya Wafa Ka
Mein Tera Sharmaya Hoon
Jo Mein Ban Paya Hoon Tumse Hi Tumse Hi Raste Miljate Hai Manzile Miljati Hai Tumse Hi Tumse Hi
Na Hai Yeh Pana Na Khona Hi Hai
Tera Na Hona Jane Kyun Hona Hi Hai